Comments on: Shocking

By: tammara

tammara — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 02:18:48 +0000

Not your fault, not your fault — and what a stupid, stupid thing for him to say — don’t you for a minute think there is any sense to be had in his words. You are a wonderful mother, and you know it. Find that inside yourself, and hold onto it. Period.

By: Custancia

Custancia — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 13:43:41 +0000

Autism, Aspergers – they are just labels. They don’t make the person, or affect the situation they find themselves in. What they *can* do, is help create ’shortcuts’ for other people around them, to understand more of how the person with the label might be experiencing things, and how things we do might help or hinder them in their experiences.

It was the 50’s when autism was also called ‘refridgerator mother’ syndrome. An idea which was knocked on it’s head in the 70’s when some actual proper theories (triad of impairment, theory of mind etc) were developed – and they’ve been further developed since then! If that nagging ‘I’m must be a bad parent’ voice comes back, tell it to get with the times

Besides I’ve met Daniel – one day was enough to see that he’s gorgeous. Inside and out. (but I’m telling you nothing you don’t already know there!

By: Alto2

Alto2 — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:42:48 +0000

Echoing Fritz, autism has nothing to do with parenting. It may have nothing to do with genetics. It may or may not have something to do with our environment. It happens because of the biological crap-shoot that is pregnancy. You did nothing wrong. You are not responsible for Daniel’s potentially having Asperger’s. You are responsible for loving him, raising him to be a healthy human being, and making his world safe for him.

By: Fritz

Fritz — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 01:19:43 +0000

Autism is no easy diagnosis. Neither is Alzheimer’s. We don’t understand these things; we can’t figure out the REASON.

Years of history has been spent on figuring out the reason. We beat ourselves up over the reason. We’ve institutionalized thousands of people because we are so baffled by them, and scared, and confused.

Mr Savage is afraid of autism and tired of bad parents. I guess he lumped them all together to make a pretty bad correlation.

Autism has nothing to do with parenting. It might not have anything to do with genes. It might have everything to do with our world.

But we can’t change our world in one great big leap. So we just do what we can do within our sphere. And we can love our kids for who they are, for what they see, for all their dreams. And we can give them safe homes and boundaries and discipline.

And we can just love one another, simply and wholly.

By: The Purloined Letter

The Purloined Letter — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 23:59:22 +0000

Remembering that he is the same kid with or without diagnosis, and that the diagnosis of anything doesn’t define who he is…well, I think I learned how important that is from you in some of your past posts. Denying any issues he has would be closing your eyes to who he is, too. I can’t imagine any better parenting than recognizing a child intensely, as you do with your son.

Missing your voice in cyberspace. Must see you soon irl. (Next month, maybe?)

By: Judy

Judy — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 12:50:00 +0000

Michael Savage is a moron.

My 12-year-old daughter has been … difficult … different … weird … for much of her life. A lot of it I didn’t notice until I met my husband, and he had a hard time with some of her, um, quirks.

Someone a couple years ago suggested Aspergers. I wasn’t sure. She now lives with her dad in a different state (when we had to move for my husband’s job, she wanted to stay where she was, where she had extended family and friends), and after her summer visit, and reading more about Aspergers, I think that’s probably it. Knowing there is likely something wrong with the wiring, and not just that I’m an awful mom, is a huge relief to me.

The trick now will be to get a diagnosis and treatment, since her dad does not think there is a problem, and is very difficult himself, but that’s just because he’s a jerk.

Good luck. I recently read a memoir of someone who has Aspergers, and if you think this is going to impact your family, it’s worth a read. It’s called “Born on a Blue Day.” If I still had it I’d send it to you.

By: nyjlm

nyjlm — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:29:24 +0000

When my sister learned that her 2.5 yo was on the autism spectrum she said “it changes everything, and it changes nothing.”

and Savage? Even our grandma, who has made an insensitive comment or two to my sister, asked me if I’d heard what that idiot said today.

By: Magpie Ima

Magpie Ima — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:18:52 +0000

As the mother of a very challenging child, I understand the need to blame myself for his issues. Because if it’s all my fault then all I have to do is shape up and everything will be fine, won’t it?

I can’t begin to understand Michael Savage, though.